Five reasons to build emotionally resilient children in your class

The ability to be able to ‘bounce back’ is talked about a lot in schools. Resilience is an important trait that allows us all to cope when things don’t go to plan, and we start building our resilience as soon as we are born. But why is it important for the children we teach?

Have you ever not got a job at an interview? Have you struggled with motivation? Felt like you were no good at something? Resilience is a very real concept for us all. Lots of things in our daily lives thrive from us being resilient and kids are just the same too. Here are my five reasons to build resilience in the children in your class and to help them become confident and happy individuals...

1. There’s no such thing as 'I can’t…'

So often, children I have taught claim 'I am rubbish at art...' or 'I just can’t do maths...'

It is so important that we foster the 'can do' attitude for children to inspire them and encourage them to try again. After all, for so many skills, practice does actually make perfect. It is very rare that we are ‘naturally gifted ‘at things.

An Olympic gymnast is never going to have not fallen. A bank manager must have had to double-check a calculation at least once in their life. A striker must have missed a penalty before.

It is natural to only notice the final result of others’ success. However, we must encourage children to look at the whole picture and the time, dedication, commitment and hard work that goes into being really good at something. This gives anyone hope and aspiration that they can be whoever they want to be if it is something they want to strive for.

It is true that we do work harder at things when we enjoy them and get that positive feedback, hence giving that particular skill more practice. So, how hugely important is it that we make new things enjoyable for children, to give them that inspiration and confidence to always ‘have a go’ in the first place and carry on building confidence in that skill?

Resilience and resolve are important to encourage at school. It is a safe space where children can try new things, be curious and find new passions, developing that all-important growth mindset towards challenges.

2. If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again…

…is a very well-known phrase.

Some real-life individuals have actively modelled this and can be inspirational to us all. Some of the world’s most successful people prove failure is par for the course and this is why it is so important to teach our children that making an effort for something and not giving up will ultimately give you the most reward when you eventually succeed.

Before her transformation to fame, J.K. Rowling was completely penniless and jobless. She sent off her first Harry Potter book to several publishers, all of which rejected the novel which has now sold 450 million copies!

How we console children during rejection or defeat or celebrate with them in their elation at achieving something, will always shape our students into what kind of person they will become.

3. Starting early

Building resilience from a young age supports children’s emotional wellbeing and the ability to cope with whatever life throws at them when they get older. If a child does not develop resilience, they are likely to find aspects of life a lot harder as they grow up. Adults and children who are resilient have much better overall mental health, lower anxiety and lower stress levels.

Let's face it, sometimes adulting is tough. Life throws lots at you, much of the time unexpectedly, and it is hard for the most resilient adults to cope with things without sometimes feeling defeated. How we cope in the face of these challenges often directly determines how successful we will become.

Life’s constant challenges are part and parcel of growing up. If we start building resilience and resolve from a young age and model it, children can get better at it and start to build up important coping mechanisms, positive self-esteem and attitudes that they can carry into later life.

4. Resilience benefits learning

We all want to have those lessons where we come away feeling like we have made a massive difference – the ones where we think, 'Yes, they’ve got it!'

Developing resilient children means that we then have children in our lessons who are willing to have a go, take healthy risks, maintain engagement, and feel confident and competent to learn new things. In addition to resilience being a lifelong skill, brave children also will thrive in our lessons and have a positive outlook on learning in general.

A resilient child has traits such as independence and resourcefulness and is goal-driven. All perfect traits for learning lessons from English and maths, to art and science. Ultimately, these positive traits will benefit our own teaching, enabling us to push children further on to new challenges and allowing children to learn from their mistakes and grow academically, socially and emotionally.

5. Emotional growth

The important thing is to teach children that success is ultimately determined by how they respond and react to failure and adapt to difficult circumstances.

Teaching children how to be resilient enables them to reframe negative thoughts and processes and look at new challenges with optimism and positivity. These traits are a huge part of how we maintain positive mental health, relationships and wellbeing at any age in our lives. Developing resilience can also support children in coping with change within their own lives positively in the short term, such as adapting to moving school or home.

It is not about teaching children that challenges aren’t difficult to process – it is about being open and honest about them, and reinforcing that if we have positive mindsets, ask for support, lean on resources and use tools to help us move forward, then we can adapt when challenges arise.

The wellbeing of children has to be one of our biggest priorities. Supporting children to become resilient has become one of the most important jobs of educators today. We need to empower children to negotiate difficulties and challenges with resilience to enable them to develop important traits which will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives.

About the author

Emma Symonds is Assistant Headteacher and a Specialist Leader of Education at Lime Tree Primary Academy, Manchester.